Ooh Aah Oh Yeah
Sydney Morning Herald
Thursday October 20, 1994
Are you crazy? Unless you are a Buddhist monk and the Herald subscription service has mistakenly rerouted the Metro to the third cave up the mountain path north of Lhasa, you probably are a little short on serenity. Rising noise levels, stupid television programs, microwave ovens that won't warm evenly, incomprehensible software manuals and furniture kits that don't assemble have all combined to drive each of us into a Munch-like state of insanity from which there is no escape.
Until now. Metro has compiled a guide to the best ways to wind down. Here they are:
MASSAGE
According to the Emperor's Yellow Book, first published 2000 years ago in China, there are two types of stress: yang stress, which is the extroverted, angry outburst type, and yin stress, the bottled-up type (roughly translated, this is the bosses' stress versus the workers' stress). However, a half-hour full-bodied Tui Na (Chinese) or shiatsu (Japanese) massage will redress the body's imbalance by emphasising the complementary yin or yang in the massage. Or, try a traditional Swedish-style or Western massage, which stimulates muscle groups and encourages blood flow to those muscles, including hands and feet. $35 to $50 for an hour.
MEDITATION
This is one of the oldest forms of relaxation known, mostly derived from Hindu and Buddhist practices. The big plus of meditation is that once you've learnt a technique, you can do it anywhere in a quiet place, whenever you have a few minutes to spare. Meditation can be difficult at first because it involves deactivating the mind, a principle alien to most Westerners (the people at the post office, however, are experts at it). After a little practice your blood pressure will drop, your heart rate and metabolism will slow and all the anxiety-related flight and fright responses will disappear, to be replaced by naturally occurring endorphins, leaving you relaxed and better able to cope with the stresses of the day.
Problem? What problem? Some schools train you to focus on an image or a word; others use suggestion and hypnotic techniques. Transcendental meditation, one of the more popular and accessible forms, has a graded fee structure according to your income. Phone 362 3260.
TAI CHI
The Chinese theory of the meridians - channels in the body through which the life force flows - has long flummoxed Western anatomists. But it forms the cornerstone of oriental healing, which teaches that interruptions to the channels cause illness, imbalance and stress. The 700-year-old art of Tai Chi is designed to restore the flow of this life force, or "chi". Though it might look like kung fu on Valium, Tai Chi is, in fact, a slow motion mime of martial art, its finely co-ordinated movements bringing balance, clarity and calmness. It's excellent for relaxation and stress-related illness such as peptic ulcer and arthritis. It's also good for those with tarnished immune systems. The Australian Academy of Tai Chi runs a beginner's 10 week course for $69. Phone 797 9355.
LAUGHTER
It's one of the great circuit breakers from a threatened meltdown due to the demands of constant decision making. It's strictly a human phenomenon as animals don't need it. What frill-necked lizard has to tailor a shopping expedition around a two-hour parking spot? Much good stress-releasing laughter is spontaneous but you can also get it in measured doses. For live comedy the Harold Park Hotel, Glebe, features stand-up acts on Monday from 8.30 pm for $7 and on Friday and Saturday from 10.30 pm for $10.
FLOTATION THERAPY
Float tanks are a spin-off from research into sensory deprivation. Scientists were interested in how humans would behave in the absence of all meaningful stimuli (this was before television). The practice arrived in Australia in the eighties and now you can find float tanks scattered throughout the suburbs of Sydney. Don a pair of ear plugs, lower yourself into the giant Radox bath and suspend space and time as you float in zero gravity conditions in near darkness; isolated from the rest of the world, without sight, sound or touch. You may feel a slight tap as you nudge against the side of the tank and slowly bounce off, but otherwise there is no sensation at all. Blood pressure, circulation, respiratory rate and metabolism all slow. Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream until ambient music tells you to come in - your time is up. Then emerge relaxed, on a natural high, to bright colours and lights and heightened sound awareness. It normally costs about $30 an hour. Balmain Float Tank Centre has an introductory opening special of $15 for a single float. Phone 818 1700.
SEX
This excellent technique for reducing stress is not always as readily available as other techniques. It's an irony that the more you need it, the harder it is to get. A tip: determine your sexual preferences in advance. Remember, too, that safe sex is the most relaxing. Many people find protracted visits to the STD clinic stressful. Beginners or those wishing to hone their skills may wish to consult the definitive text, The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort(Reed Books, paperback $29.95, available at Dymocks and Angus &Robertson/Bookworld). Or, learn as you go. Sydney offers a variety of private parties, singles bars and dance clubs.
YOGA
Originating in India more than 5000 years ago, yoga is a series of movements and postures designed to relieve tension in different areas of the body. Postures are tailored to suit body types, according to where you are experiencing the most tension. There are many different schools, some concentrating on the mind, others on the body. Yoga incorporates meditation as well - some forms, such as Raja yoga, are purely meditation. Hatha or Iyengar yoga are the most popular forms of physical yoga in the West. The Australian Association of Yoga in Daily Life runs a four-day weekend course in the Blue Mountains for $110 and a 10-week course for $60 to $80. Phone 986 3516.
© 1994 Sydney Morning Herald